Trying to decide what to watch this summer? Here’s some options based on your present vibe. Just add AC and your summer bevvy of choice. Personally, I’m on a kroger-brand pineapple coconut seltzer kick.
Are you too hot to function (physically, like from sweat because it’s 120 degrees outside and you’re just trying not to die)?
So it’s the middle of the day and you’ve got a long afternoon to meander through. Try on James Cameron’s The Abyss (1989) - seek out the extended edition if you can so you get that sweet sweet bonus 30 minutes (which really does make a difference). The whole thing takes place under water and feels very cooling - let it transport you and lower your temperature. The Abyss has everything: romance, adventure, fight scenes, high stakes, aliens. ‘Nough said.
Got that summertime sadness?
You need Wet Hot American Summer (2001). David Wain’s summer camp movie. It’s so non sequitur it can’t help but lift your spirits. Starring Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Amy Poehler, Michael Showalter, Bradley Cooper, Ken Marino, Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Michael Ian Black, H. Jon Benjamin, Molly Shannon, Joe Lo Truglio, Lake Bell, and John Slatterly - just to rattle off the names of SO MANY FRICKEN FAMOUS ACTORS who are all 100% so silly in this homage to summer camp. The whole thing takes place on the last day of camp, the main objective is to prep for the end of camp talent show but everyone has their own agenda that is taking precedence that makes for a really full day where time just simply does not exist. You won’t have time to be sad because you’ll be too busy tracking all the goings ons of this crew as they pursue their various crushes and get up to hijinx.
Have you had a really satisfying daytime hang doing fun things with fun people and now you’re in for the night but still energetic enough and more or less content?
You should watch Wild Things (1998). Yes, THAT movie with the male-gaze pool scene. What people fail to mention when poopooing that one scene is that this movie is a really fricken fun noir with an ending I’ve had to rewatch at least 2 times and I only barely can explain it. The setting is a good time, the characters are slimy and sexy homages to 1930s/40s detective movie tropes. You already had a fun day, now keep it fun - watch Wild Things.
Are you hungover (no shame) from a really great night out so now it’s time to lay on the couch and not move except to shuffle over to the door and grab that takeout thai food that just got delivered?
You probably want something that doesn’t involve too much movement so you don’t get dizzy and doesn’t have too many twists but is still worth your time so you can feel like even though you’re hungover and feeling dead you still did a culture. Have you ever seen Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)? It’s the spiritual sequel to Richard Linklater’s 1993 cult classic Dazed and Confused. Focused on a Texas freshman’s first college experience in 1980, we explore the wonders of existentialism in the power to choose who you are in your next chapter of life. Featuring dancing, baseball, parties, great dialogue, good friends, and budding romance. Bonus points here we have lil baby versions of Wyatt Russell (Kurt Russell’s adorable son who is also in 22 Jump Street - a stone cold sequel classic) as well as my current obsession, Glen Powell (with a mustache!). Anyway, it’s a good time that feels like you’re floating down a not-too-chilly lazy river in an inflatable tube with some good good shade and just a peak of sunshine, so probably what you need, eh?